I write this sitting on a rock that has been placed as decor in a resort that opens to the Andaman sea. I am in Krabi, and in an hour the last sunset of the year will be over. The tide is low. The rock is uncomfortable but I proceed with reflections.

This has been the most unique year of my life with one simple change from all the ones before since I have absolutely noting to do. There was no agenda to my being, I had no job and no academic endeavours. It was disorienting at first, and then every few weeks, how tied up my sense of identity is with an active pursuit in the journey of making more money tomorrow than I did yesterday. I could say capitalism but that feels repetitive. For all eyes to see, I am on a sabbatical from life, which resembles being a dropout.

There is a list of “My 100” in my Hobonichi journal that I included a small list in. Some are things I wanted to do, and did not. Some are things I discovered in the year and added to this list.

Here are some highlights from My 100 that I have categorised for coherence and dramatic effect:

Top highlights so you can skip the rest

1. I perfected the art of making granola. “This is the best granola ever” has been declared by the 3 people who have eaten it.

2. I got matching tattoos with Rhea, two balloons are the two baboons life long companions that we are, carrying each other along. My love for Rhea is perhaps of no surprise to anyone, but since 2020 and after a few upheavals in life, I have wondered if she is ever exhausted of all the love that she gives me. These last two years have been reassuring that I am very much capable of being there for her and my love was of some benefit to her. I also got a triangle tattoo, as it is my favourite shape.

3. I took a Thai cooking class. Often at dinners in restaurants, I have declared “I could make this at home”. I have a certificate for it now.

4. I got legally married to a man I was prepared to love for the rest of my life for me makes me feel like the sun shines out of my ass. It was Rudi, in case any doubts persist.

   

5. I wore a two piece bikini in a public space.

6. I have understood what brings me to a meditative state and have been able to achieve it. Traditional meditation does not work for me, but I can now spend hours denying myself a single thought and being attuned to myself.

7. I own a Lamy pen. It’s pink.

8. I poured myself into a daily journal. Never in my life before did I dare to undertake the pressure of 365 empty pages awaiting my discovery, yet this year I managed to fill almost all of them. There was no discipline, creativity and energy is like weather and changes slowly or sporadically. But it comes, always. My pages are evidence to remind me that harassment from clients and coworkers could chip away at me, but the desire to create, in my mind, keeps flowing.

9. I finished my giant A1 sized citrus painting. It currently hangs in living room.

   

10. Everyday I have told someone I love that I love them.

In addition to…

1. Had a proper picnic, and I did it many times. I find the idea of a sheet on a flat land, overlooking something beautiful, one of the most beautiful pleasures of our species; leisure in its best format. I was happy to do this in Thailand, where my body felt most at peace. There was no wandering eye, no discomfort. For every layer of clothing I shed on a beach, there was someone wearing less than me. Monkey see, monkey do, monkey cheers on too?
2. Watched boxing, Muay Thai.
3. I travelled for a third of the year! Even I fail to believe this.
4. Finished a Posca pen. It is basically a sketch pen, so imagine that sketch pen you had in school and how you probably never saw the day it ran out of ink. It probably dried out before it was depleted. But I finished a whole pen. Black.